Seniority - The Senpai and the Kouhai

Seniority in Japan

The Senpai/Kouhai Relationship (Senior/Junior)

For more posts similar to this one, see General Working Conditions, Life in Japan

One of the main differences of the Japanese system compared to the West is the very strict adherence to a seniority based system, Senpai/Kouhai (Senior/Junior). There’s no real way for foreigners to understand the Japanese Senpai/Kouhai culture unless they actually live it and see it in action. It starts from the very earliest of ages in the primary schools, continues throughout one's school career, business career and life in general. I'd swear that this system continues in the Shinto afterlife.

Essentially, the Kouhai is forever and ever Kouhai to the Senpai. In the USA, the words we use to describe a Kouhai are plebe, probie, rookie, rook, newb, greenhorn, etc. However, in Japan the relationship is never adversarial. I've never personally seen any cases of hazing or any other types of mental or physical torment (ijime) like there is in other countries, but I’m sure that some form of it exists in Japan.

In the schools, the Kouhai is essentially relegated to the most mundane and worthless duties. For example, in a sport or club (let's use basketball for this example) the kouhai stand around on the outside of the court and chase the balls when they go out of bounds. That's it. They don't usually get actually play with the upper-classmates for quite some time into the school year. Three months or so is a usual time frame. Before they get to practice with the big girls and boys, the kouhai set up all the gear and basically play the role of equipment manager/trainer/water boy while the rest of the team does drills and plays scrimmages. They are the senpai's bi@ches. I remember watching the kouhai in the ping-pong club. For what seemed like months, they all just stood around and basically played shadow ping-pong on edges of the gym ~~ without ever getting to practice on a table!!  Yep, the ping-pong club hogs up precious gym-time everyone.

Here is a link to another good explanation.....

In the Western business culture, we have what I would call a system loosely based on seniority. However, seniority seems to be more of a tiebreaker for internal advancement and promotion in the West. For example, if two or more people are closely qualified for the same position, than the senior employee will usually get the job. In Japan, there seems to be a much larger and disproportionate amount of importance placed on seniority. In other words, seniority will override a much larger discrepancy in skills, qualifications  and overall competence.

Except for being able to witness the origins of the senpai/kouhai culture in Japanese life, this has no real impact to any foreigner in Japan. The Japanese know that foreigners don't understand customs and traditions such as the Senpai/Kouhai relationship. It’s just one of the more interesting aspects that's good to keep in mind whilst milling around the archipelago nation.

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

Things Japanese Don't Do Well

This Just Will Not Do

"What the hell!?!?"  tired gaijin

"That's ham?!? OK...If you say so....." gaijin-san

*For more posts similar to this one, see Life in Japan

Again, I'm not talking about the obvious stuff here....... everyone knows that the Japanese tell jokes worse than the Germans....oh, you didn't? Hm....Well, the Japanese can tell a funny story, but that's a different matter altogether. Here is a short list of things that the Japanese surprisingly stink at doing well.......Big Swing and a Miss!!

• Sandwiches of any kind - unless you like a lump of mystery meat between two slices of mystery      bread.
• Jokes - My theory is that Japanese grammar doesn't lead a joke well....funny stories yes, jokes no.
• BBQ - Why are there more vegetables on the grill than meat? Barbecued corn? OK....yum, I guess.
• TV shows/dramas - I don't even know where to begin. It's a bad sign when the almost all of the most popular dramas on TV come from other countries. Imagine a really bad soap opera... a Japanese TV drama smells a lot like that.
• Pro Sports - except, of course, baseball!! and even that gets a little weird once you get over the newness of the experience.
• Sports Bar/Pub - Find a really cool place to watch the big game.... good luck. 
• Brew House - A brewpub in Japan is in name only.
• Beer - Seriously, if you think the beer is good..... well, I'll stop right now.
• Coffee - If it's not imported, it's not good.  Brew it well, yes.... roast it, no.
• International Sporting Events ( The Homer Theorem) - If Japan isn't playing, attendance and TV coverage is nill.
• Socks (Sox) - Try buying a decent pair of sox in Japan.... I dare you.
• Ovens - Try baking a cake in Japan..... I dare you.
• Bagels - unless you call soft round bread a bagel, of course.
• Sarcasm - AH!!! American Joke....
• Lingerie / Bra --- What's with all this frilly s%$t
• Condoms -- This is the last product on earth that you want to have to experiment with hoping to find one that won't tear on you.......

As always, if you have anything to add to this page, write a comment or send me an email.

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

Things Japan Does Extremely Well

Things You Can't Get at Home

"Holy Sh$t dude! This is kinda awesome!"  surprised gaijin

*For more posts similar to this one, see Life in Japan

Everyone has heard of the bullet train. This is an obvious thing that Japan does extremely well.

But what about the not so obvious things that Japan does surprisingly well? The Japanese absolutely NAIL some things that you probably never crossed your mind....

Here they are, in no particular order:

Food

• Cream Puffs (I love it when you call me beard pa-pa)
• Waffles/Hot Cake (Manekin)
• Dessert Crepes (any filling you desire)
• Deep Fried Food - Chicken, Kushi-katsu
• Hot as Hell Curry (Japanese style)
• Carbonara Sauce (bacon....yummmmm)
• Corn Dogs (American Dog to you sir)
• Canned Coffee (Boss? Did someone say Tommy Lee Jones?)

Non-Food

• Mega Book and Electronics Stores
• Massage Chairs
• Saunas
• Health Club / Gym (Doubters out there beware...I dare you to find cleaner gyms anywhere)
• Revisionist History (read a history book)
• Service (Obvious? Perhaps, but.......)
• Taxi Cabs
• All night drinking
• A picnic (see Hanami)
• Over-reacting to the delicious first bite of a meal or first amazing sip of a beer

Help me out if you can think of anything else.........

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

Surprising Things That Japanese Like

Kushi

Surprise, Surprise

"Hom'ma!!!! ほっんま?!?!"  

*For more posts similar to this one, see Life in Japan

Kushi-katsu / おなかへた！！

These are just some of the things that I find to be the most surprising things that the Japanese love. If you have anything you'd like to add, please post a comment.

• Mayonnaise (マヨネーズ)
• Toast for Breakfast (食パン)
• Hard Boiled Eggs (ゆで卵・ゆでたまご)
• Pizza (ピザ)
• Tabasco Sauce (タバスコ)
• Deep Fried Skewer / Kushi-katsu (串かつ)
• Demiglace Sauce (デミグラス)
• Hamburg Steak (ハンバーグ)    
• Yogurt (ヨーグルト)
• Pringles (プリングルズ)
• KFC (ケンタッキー)
• Tommy Lee Jones (トミー・リー・ジョーンズ)
• Avocado (アボカド)
• Coffee (コーヒー)
• Melons (メロン)
• Strawberries (イチゴ)
• Corn Dogs (American Dogs) and Wieners (アメリカンドッグ・ウイナー)
• Sno-cones (shaved ice/kaki-koおri) (かき氷)
• Straight Bourbon Whiskey (バーボン)
• Corn (コン)
• Horumon - Organ Meat (mostly Osaka) (ホルモン)
• Curry (カレー)
• Nan (ナン)
• Draft Beer (なま)
• Sweet Potato (焼きいも・やきいも）

Non-Food

• Horse Racing (競馬・けいば) 
• Pachinko (パチンコ)
• Marathons/ Running / Track and Field  (陸上・りくじょう)
• Figure Skating   (スケート)
• Swimming   (水泳・すいえい)
• Inquiring about your penis size (これぐらい？)

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

Being Japanized

Not Being Understood

(in either language)

"I was speaking Japanese... I swear I was."

 A Japanized Gaijin-san

*For more posts similar to this one, see Life in Japan

If you've ever tried to learn and actually speak a second language in a foreign country, you know that fate will inevitably find you in an unavoidable, frustrating and awkward circumstance. Yep, sometimes you will not be understood at all. No matter how hard you try, no matter what you point to in your phrase book or dictionary, at times you will fail miserably to get your point across. Asian languages in particular pose daunting pronunciation and grammar issues for Westerners, and Japanese is no exception to this axiom.

However, just because you are not being understood doesn't necessarily mean that you are not speaking correctly. Let me introduce you to a very special case of cross-cultural semantics... "Being Japanized."  I honestly don't know what else to call this situation - a friend of mine called it this once and it stuck...

For those of us who have experienced "Being Japanized," we know that it's not just simply a case of being misunderstood......... It's something even deeper and more mysterious.

It's an absolutely confounding scene. While it's happening and long after, you will explain it away by simply assuming that the Japanese person couldn't quite understand your wicked foreign accent. You may even think that perhaps you used the wrong words or that your grammar was piss poor. Sometimes this will be the case, but believe me, sometimes it absolutely will not.

Enter Ron Burgundy --- "I don't speak Spanish."

When I saw Anchorman again a few years ago, this scene killed me.

The only reason that I can say that this happens for sure is that it happened to me many times. The first time I verified it was when after a waitress melted down and started saying "No English," she ran to get her supervisor. They both came back, then I said the exact same thing in Japanese to the supervisor and had no problem what-so-ever. After this first time, I noticed it much more frequently.

Let me attempt to explain how it usually goes down. Bear with me.

When you are in Japan, you will of course have ample opportunity to speak Japanese to many native speakers. So, you will take the opportunity to slowly but surely gain command of an arsenal of phrases that you can and do use in many situations. However, on occasion you will find yourself not getting your point across. Even though you are saying something you've said hundreds of times and you're convinced that you are saying just fine, you just can't get the person to understand you.

It's frustrating for sure! We've all been there. You will usually blame your own mistakes for the mix-up (as well you should). HOWEVER, there will be one time, one time when you will swear that whoever you are talking to thinks you are speaking ENGLISH!!! Welcome to the club....you've most likely been............... Japanized.

Could it be? Nah......no way!!! But it's true......Believe it...... It happens...... And more frequently than you will notice!

The situation will become absolutely bizarre because they will start to have what amount to full blown panic attacks. They will shake, grunt, utter strange phrases, avoid any kind of eye contact and appear to be ready to pass out. Finally, they'll say something similar to "No English" or "English No," then attempt to get away. If they are working in a store or shop, they will bolt to get someone to help them.

I know that it's hard to believe, but it actually happens quite often. If you have the ability, watch for it.

I'm assuming that it's prerequisite for the people who Japanize you to have no ability to speak English at all, because they seem to automatically assume that they can't understand you.

Can I get a psychologist please??!!?? Why does this happen?  This could be a good place to start if you want to look into this bizarre behavior a little more in depth and scholarly.

I don't even pretend to understand this phenomenon. It ranks way up there with Hello...Bye, Bye in its magnitude of strangeness, but being Japanized occurs much more rarely.

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

The Art of Sleeping in Japan

The Futon

"$esus Fu#KING #HRIST!!!

"My back hurts, my arms are asleep.......this SUCKS!!"

"I gotta have sex on this thing?! Wuh!?!"
"F#CKING HELL this is uncomfortable!!"
"NOW my legs are F*CKING asleep!!! F*CK this shit!!!"
"I can't FU@KING sleep!!"
"#od Damn Kink in my neck!!!"
"Am I the only one who hates these F#CKING things?!?"
"Now, I'm supposed to roll this piece of shit up?!"
"And, put it where?!"
"And I'm supposed to hang it off the balcony?!"
"And beat it with this stupid F$CKING thing?!"
"They look so cool on TV and the internet!!!"
"Why didn't anyone warn me about these FUC&ING things!?"
 Every Non-Pod Person at One Time or Another

*For more posts similar to this one, see Life in Japan

OK, here is the problem. When you are told that you will have a futon to sleep on in Japan, you automatically think you are going to have one of these.............

NOT ONE OF THESE THIN ASS PIECES OF.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND!!!   That you need to beat with one of THESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL - THE - TIME!!!!

Nuff said..............

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

Perpetual Motion

If You Stop Moving, You May Die

"Why isn't there anywhere to sit down?"  tired gaijin

*For more posts similar to this one, see Life in Japan

If you look closely, you will notice that the only people not in motion in Japan are the following people:

• Smokers huddled around an ashtray
• A bum
• Teenagers hanging out outside a convenience store or public park (sometimes smoking)
• A completely lost and confused person
• Someone taking a picture
• An elderly citizen sitting on a park bench
• People asleep in public (which is actually quite common)

Yep, that's about it.

Why? I have no idea why. Welcome to Japan.  Japan has a point A to point B mentality. In other words, haul ass from point A to point B because everyone does it and if you don't you are a lazy sloth.

"Hello, Bye-Bye...Ha Ha Ha Ha"

A Most Curious Recurring Event

("Hello.....Bye-bye...Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha")

"What the hell was that all about?"  1st timer

           *For more posts similar to this one, see Life in Japan

Here is where I tell you about one of the strangest things you will need to get used to if you spend any length of time in Japan. The odd encounter with a group of women (basically girls of any age - sorry ladies) who for some reason feel the need to say 'hello' and 'bye-bye' in the same sentence and find it the most hilarious thing that has ever been uttered.

I wish I had a video camera rolling when this happened oh so many times. There are still times in Japan where people will stare at you just because you're a foreigner, so every once in awhile you'll feel the need to just say hello to them!!! And sometimes when you do, you get the following abbreviated conversation:

1)     YOU is walking towards the beer vendor at a soccer game in the concourse of a large stadium. A GROUP OF YOUNG LADIES is approaching YOU on the right hand side. The GROUP OF YOUNG LADIES is enjoying themselves and appears to be looking at YOU as though they have something to say. When GROUP OF YOUNG LADIES get about even with YOU............

YOU

                                                        "Hello!!"

GROUP LEADER

                                                        "Hello!!" 

               (pronounced 'Hollow' with a hard accent on the first syllable and drawn out second syllable)

GROUP OF YOUNG LADIES, while quietly whispering and giggling, slowly passes by YOU. YOU and GROUP OF YOUNG LADIES maintain eye contact while passing.

GROUP LEADER
(while waving hand shortly and quickly with palm outward)

                                                        "Bye-bye"

GROUP OF YOUNG LADIES laugh as though it is the funniest conversation, EVER. YOU continues towards the beer vendor with comical and quizzical expression.

YOU

                                                      (muttering under breath)

                                                         "What the hell was that all about?"

That's it. Just change the location and you have a recurring scene out of Life in Japan.

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

Mr. Baseball - Basic Gaijin Expectations

Mr. Baseball - Basic Gaijin Expectations

For more posts similar to this one, see General Working Conditions, Life in Japan

Technically, English teachers are actually working directly for a Japanese company or Japanese school board. But the expectations of the average gaijin-san are much less demanding than those of Japanese salaried employees. The Japanese are generally aware of how different their society is from the West, so most won’t give foreigners much grief for not adhering to the Japanese working standards such as staying late for no apparent reason and looking frantically busy at all times. 

Large English conversation chains tend to be a bit more strict when it comes to dress codes, punctuality and Japanese customary manners than other employers of English teachers. However, despite working directly for Japanese organizations, foreign personnel are held to a far lower standard of behavior and performance than their Japanese counterparts.

To understand the way Japanese people view foreign workers in their midst, please refer to the movie Mr. Baseball. There’s a scene where one of the Japanese players explains just what Mr. Baseball’s role on the team is – a helper. Nothing more, nothing less. He’s just there to help out for a short time to fill a hole that’s missing on the team. 

The same attitude applies to English teachers in Japan. Ultimately, you are not truly a part of the team. The team, as it applies to English teachers in Japan, is a metaphor for society at large. English teachers in Japan are simply in Japan for awhile to help out filling in the enormous English teaching chasm that exists. Nothing more is expected. 

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!