The Pod People

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

"Don't fight it, it's no use.....Sooner or later, you'll have to go to sleep."  pod person

*For more posts similar to this one, see The People in Japan

This is without question my favorite group of foreigners in Japan. First of all, pod person is more likely to be a male human and most likely married to a Japanese. These people have "found" themselves in Japan and have officially gone native. They have retained, relatively, their Western form and appearance, but have been transformed into a state that is entirely foreign in its own right. From my experience I've concluded that once transformed, there is no returning from the state of Pod Person.

There is a long list of requirements to qualify as a pod person, but the first thing you need to know is how to not confuse the pod person with the lifer. The lifer and the pod person are similar, but fundamentally different. The lifer has retained his sense of nationalism and longs to return to his home country; the pod person has lost these characteristics.

Simply put, if you can easily tell what country a foreigner is from by just listening to what that person says (as in the words and phrases used, not the accent), than he or she is probably just a lifer. The lifer has other distinguishing qualities that I will get to in later posts.

The pod person MUST exhibit all of the following characteristics:

• Unable to make eye contact with fellow foreigners for more than a few seconds at a time
• Pushing a stroller (Oops! That's probably just a lifer, sorry)
• Has developed an ability to somehow sense foreigners in his midst AND........
• Stays clear of all foreigners when at all possible
• Speaks of how Japan is better at just about everything.....thus,
• Believes that the Japanese produce s@#t that doesn't stink
• Exhibits no sure signs of what country he is actually from (aside from an accent)
• Is bummed out that he can't vote in Japanese elections
• Uses a Japanese style lunch box wrapped in bento bag or furo-shiki at work without feeling odd or uncomfortable
• Likes to clap while laughing
• Has no desire to move back to his or her home country
• Is unable to laugh comfortably at "Western humor" - mainly sarcasm
• Truly looks forward to and truly enjoys going to the karaoke box...AND...
• Has an arsenal of Japanese songs to sing at karaoke AND...
• Pod person gets upset that there are no Japanese songs at karaoke back in his home country.

Remember, displaying one or more of the above qualities may mean that someone has just been in Japan for too long or takes his time in Japan a bit too seriously. Only the pod person displays all qualities.

Pod person is rarely spotted by most foreigners. However, the pod creatures are best spotted at Japanese cultural events such as a sumo tournament or New Year's Day temple visit. The reason why you can spot pod person at these events so easily is because pod person thinks he belongs there. He believes that without his attendance at such Japanese cultural gatherings, the event itself would somehow be incomplete. 

Foreigners see Japanese events as a good chance to get a first hand view of Japanese culture; pod person thinks he is part of the culture you are there to experience. This is when they are easiest to spot. This is when pod person is at his weakest and lets his guard down. You'll know the pod person when you finally see him. It will be like one of those old 3-D posters that you had to squint at and go kind of cross-eyed to see clearly. Pod person will just pop out at you suddenly.

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!