Things Japanese Don't Do Well

This Just Will Not Do

"What the hell!?!?"  tired gaijin

"That's ham?!? OK...If you say so....." gaijin-san

*For more posts similar to this one, see Life in Japan

Again, I'm not talking about the obvious stuff here....... everyone knows that the Japanese tell jokes worse than the Germans....oh, you didn't? Hm....Well, the Japanese can tell a funny story, but that's a different matter altogether. Here is a short list of things that the Japanese surprisingly stink at doing well.......Big Swing and a Miss!!

• Sandwiches of any kind - unless you like a lump of mystery meat between two slices of mystery      bread.
• Jokes - My theory is that Japanese grammar doesn't lead a joke well....funny stories yes, jokes no.
• BBQ - Why are there more vegetables on the grill than meat? Barbecued corn? OK....yum, I guess.
• TV shows/dramas - I don't even know where to begin. It's a bad sign when the almost all of the most popular dramas on TV come from other countries. Imagine a really bad soap opera... a Japanese TV drama smells a lot like that.
• Pro Sports - except, of course, baseball!! and even that gets a little weird once you get over the newness of the experience.
• Sports Bar/Pub - Find a really cool place to watch the big game.... good luck. 
• Brew House - A brewpub in Japan is in name only.
• Beer - Seriously, if you think the beer is good..... well, I'll stop right now.
• Coffee - If it's not imported, it's not good.  Brew it well, yes.... roast it, no.
• International Sporting Events ( The Homer Theorem) - If Japan isn't playing, attendance and TV coverage is nill.
• Socks (Sox) - Try buying a decent pair of sox in Japan.... I dare you.
• Ovens - Try baking a cake in Japan..... I dare you.
• Bagels - unless you call soft round bread a bagel, of course.
• Sarcasm - AH!!! American Joke....
• Lingerie / Bra --- What's with all this frilly s%$t
• Condoms -- This is the last product on earth that you want to have to experiment with hoping to find one that won't tear on you.......

As always, if you have anything to add to this page, write a comment or send me an email.

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!