So You Wanna Teach English in Japan?: Commodity Trading

A Dozen of Englishes, Please

"I don't really like this one, can I get a different one?"
eikaiwa student/BOE

*For more posts similar to this one, see General Working Conditions

"So, (wink, wink) how many do you need....actual native speakers that is....ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaaaaa"

I'm going to describe the general process that enables a completely dysfunctional system to insult every foreign teacher that steps foot in Japan. I'll revisit this subject in many future posts.

Boards of Education and other entities such as businesses and private school programs that use English instructors basically bid over the services of the local gaijin-san through a 3rd party agency. English teachers in Japan may as well be a bunch of farm products: eggs, milk, cow, pig, hay.

Dispatch/Temp agencies basically put in a bid to provide the requested X number of teachers for X number of working days for X number of yen to local schools and businesses. Not unlike what goes on anywhere else.

These agencies simply try to undercut each other. The results are disastrous to the English teacher who is already established and living in Japan. There is no real union or any kind of organization available and most teachers are transient, at best.

This is how the bid process works:

Addict: "Hey!!!! I need some English teachers, and I need them now....nowwww....starting next month.....20 oughta hold me for the year...."

****The bidding process in Japan typically begins sometime in February. The municipal budgets are approved shortly after, then the bids are approved in early to mid-March. Do your own math to figure out how agencies have enough native English teachers ready and waiting to start the school year during the first week in April. (The answer is that they never do -- which of course leads to the blanket email)

The Now Extinct Agency: "Well, we can hire English teachers for you!! We'll find them and make sure they come to your school fully trained and ready to go. We'll recruit overseas in person. We'll make sure all their visas and passports are solid. We'll give them a few weeks of training at our headquarters about how to survive, er...um...I mean live...um...er...teach in Japan's school systems!! We'll need to give them at least 35 large a year. Of course, this would need to be a yearly salary including all training, school vacations and national holidays. Oh yeah, they also require a few sick/personal days (I know, they're so demanding). Also, we only deal with experienced, qualified and dedicated teachers who will undergo a fairly lengthy interview process. This is to ensure that you only get the best. So, it may take awhile for us to get everyone to your town, get them set up in adequate apartments, make sure they are comfortable, etc....this is a completely foreign country to them you know....things can be a bit stressful and difficult at times for many of them."

The Addict: "I don't know, that's pretty expensive....and does it really make a difference how experienced they are? They don't really do that much. Our teachers do all the work. And this is Japan, it's easy for everyone to feel comfortable. How hard can it possibly be to find comfortable housing and support for foreigners? There are plenty of reasonably priced apartments near our school. Can you discount your bid? After all, we have no money...............we're poor Japan..........."

Enabler Agency One: "Did someone say DISCOUNT!!! Hey!!!!! Lookie here........I can get 20 native speakers to you with no paid vacations and no paid holidays!!! Right NOW!!! Just pay them for the time worked and we'll prorate for the rest of the year...they won't mind. Everyone else is moving towards this model anyway....Whatever you want my friend......You want them for the lowest price? I got you covered!! 25 large a year!! Max!!! Oh, and don't sweat the taxes and national health insurance laws.... our contracts are specifically designed to avoid all that jazz baby!"

Addict: "Hmmm.....well, can't we get them for lower? I mean, they all live together and their families give them money from home, don't they? And Japan is safety country! They should feel safe living here. It's in their best interest to come to Japan."

Enabler Agency Two: "Oh yeah!!! That's right!! You are correct!!! I forgot about that!!! Westerners are very altruistic and rich. They don't need to get paid. And!!! They love safety. That's what they are all about.

I have a bunch of English speaking foreigners over here that are in Japan solely out of the goodness of their hearts. (suckers) They are willing to work for a total of only 6 months out of the year!! AND here's the best part!! You can pick the days that they have off!!!

That's right!!! They will be required to live in Japan all year (well, not required but basically they won't be able to afford to go home), AND! for the dates you choose for them to be not at your schools, you don't have to pay them!!! AND, AND!!! They won't mind it!!! They'll love it!! The most you'll have to pay each teacher for the year is about 15 large. And don't you worry about how they'll make ends meet when they're not working. We have programs in place to support them (wink, wink). Don't you worry Ms. Addict-chan. Here's a cigar.... It's a big Cuban. I heard that you people like to smoke."

Addict: "That makes total sense!!! WOW!!! They don't need a full time job subsidized by my city after all!!!! And there ARE plenty of jobs that they can do whenever they want.....they can practically set their own hours and make really good money here in Japan!!!! Wow!!! You're right Mr. Enabler Agency Guys #2 People!!!! Those altruistic phantom teachers are some really nice people!!! That's GREAT!!! I think I'll take YOURS........."

Enabler Agency Two: "Thank you for your business.....

Sully the Lifer

Let us introduce you to the supervisor.... He's a real go-getter!! He was just down in Nigeria trying to illegally forge some visa documents. A little trouble at the border, but we've sorted everything out. Anyway, here he is.... Sully the Lifer. He has lot's of experience. We do full background checks so don't worry."