The Extras - Moron Bowing Guy

The Fellow Foreigner Who Bows......

.....like a Moron

*For more posts similar to this one, see The People in Japan

Mo F. Ron
"The Bow Master"

Perhaps one of the more annoying extras that you will come across in Japan is the moron who bows for everything and to anyone. For the most part, a foreigner has absolutely NO idea of what the nuances of bowing are and really should not attempt it under any circumstances. A simple gratuitous nod using the upper body is sufficient.

However, do not nod by just bending your neck. Keep your spine straight and just give a bit of a lean forward. As shown below.

Here's a good article on bowing in Japan.

I ran across this picture in an email sent to me awhile ago. This absolutely sums up what I'm trying to convey in this post. I can't stress it enough: Do not attempt to bow under any circumstance. The Emperor of Japan isn't even bowing for #@%$'s sake!!! Pathetic. 

If you want to learn how to bow properly, ask a Japanese person. But unless you've grown up in Japan or have spent more than 50% of your life there, forget about it.

The best case (or worst depending on your perspective) is when a 'fellow extra' bows to you. Give me a break!! I had one guy bow at me till his head practically hit his feet. An amazing display of flexibility, but an equivalently amazing display of someone who is entering the realm of becoming a full blown pod person -the term I use to describe a gaijin-san who believes he or she is Japanese - more on them in a future post.

It can be kind of fun to try your hand at 'immersing' yourself in Japanese culture while you are there. However, foreigners have to keep in mind that Japan's culture is 100% real. Sometimes it seems like you are in a living movie, but these are real live people folks! And they are fully aware of how different their society is compared to the rest of the world. 

When foreigners take the piss on Japanese cultural peculiarities, which happens a lot (by playing bowing games such as seeing how many people they can get to bow, or how many times they can get someone to bow, how low they can get them to go, etc.), all it does is fortify the Japanese view that most foreigners are a bunch of ............ rude Mo F. Rons. And I agree with this view a lot of times.

Moral of the story........don't bow unless you really mean it and you know what the heck you are doing.

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

The Main Cast - Two Equally Important Groups

The Main Cast - An Overview

"The main cast of Japan is represented by two separate, yet equally important groups: The English students who live in fear of not being able to speak English, and the non-English students who live freely in obscurity. These are their stories." ripped off from Law and Order

*For more posts similar to this one, see The People in Japan

I like Law and Order

OK, let's get to the main cast of Japan. As stated in earlier posts, the main cast is 99% Japanese broken into the basic groups of students and non-students.




The English Students

In one way shape or form, it seems like just about the entire country is obsessed with learning English. However, the desire of most Japanese people to learn and speak English is greatly overestimated. I would say that after roughly age 12, English turns into exactly what any other uninteresting subject turns into -- a chore.......but that doesn't stop the machine from manufacturing demand for English conversation.

In Japan you can find someone from any point in their life studying English. I've never seen it personally, but I'm sure that their are expectant mothers out their trying to teach their babies that are still in the womb. I have, however, taught English lessons in a retirement community where one of the students had to have been in his 90's.

There are countless English nursery schools, preschools and private international schools (K-16) that focus on English immersion. After formal educational institutions, there is a massive variety of academies, tutoring schools (ju-ku), night schools, conversation schools, English cafes, etc., that are all competing for the hard earned yen of the population. For the most part (aside from the few gigantic @h01es that I've taught) all English students are eager and willing to put in tremendous effort into learning English - the studious nature of the Japanese is well documented.

Regardless, I'll be describing a number of recurring characters that can be encountered in the classroom throughout the life of this blog - from Obnoxious Bad Breath Guy, to Bored High-Booted Housewife, you'll meet them all eventually.

The Non-English Students

The non-students in Japan make up the rest of society. Most Japanese that don't study English give one of the following reasons as to why they aren't studying English: they don't have the money to afford it, they don't have time or they don't like it.

Regardless, when I describe the rest of the cast that can be encountered outside of the classrooms of Japan, I'll focus on the more memorable characters such as the Yaki-Imo Guy and the Hunchbacked Sidewalk Sweeper. For the most part, I will try to combine several characters into one to add effect. There are some very unique individuals that English teachers have to deal with in Japan. 

Enjoy the Show!!!

Cast and Crew - The Extras (Fellow Foreigners)

Fellow Foreigners - "The Extras"

*For more posts similar to this one, see The People in Japan

This post will introduce, in the most general way, the small uncredited portion of the cast known as extras.

As you would expect, there are scores of foreigners rolling and trolling around Japan. Fear and loathing. Most extras do not speak a LICK of Japanese (although some are delusional and think they can). Hence, these people are automatically sent to the trailer reserved for the background actors. Some of them will get a speaking part now and then, but it's usually a bit part in a night club or restaurant scene. The lines spoken by this lucky performer are always either poorly pronounced Japanese or oddly worded English that is only in the script for comedic purposes.

The extras just wander around nodding their head, pointing at things they like and mumbling only the most basic Japanese expressions. Many believe that they are an integral part of the production. Ha ha haaa....silly gaijin.

One thing that I always found interesting about my fellow foreigners was that if you took a random sample of them and compared them to an equivalent cross-section of people from their home country, you would notice a striking difference in personality. Obviously, demographics play a large role in this. In general, English teachers in Japan tend to be young and very liberal. For many, this is their first 'real job.' Anyway.....

Regardless of their background, all foreigners who spend any length of time in Japan will change in some way or another. Of course, changes don't occur overnight. However, this morphing process can be quite drastic for some people and rather negligible for others.

For some, a morph takes as little as a month or so for noticeable signs to manifest; while for others the signs of a morph won't become apparent for years. Sometimes a change is so drastic that a fellow foreigner might actually appear Japanese (gone native). Some gaijin will lose their sense of reality and quite literally appear insane (wait for my White Suit Sully post). Most people will just change their eating habits or perhaps bow too often -no big deal.

Let's take a quick look at some of the changes that foreigners commonly experience while living in Japan (for too long):

• Ability to use native language diminishes (full frontal lobotomy).
• Prefer to use chopsticks.
• Think that the use of the word chopsticks is somehow a racial slur.
• It's not ping-pong anymore, it's table tennis.
• Naturally introduce themselves to foreigners using Japanese pronunciation: "My name is Gu-ren" 
• Scoff at the silly "foreigners" putting soy sauce on plain white rice.
• Men: Have come to believe that all women in Japan (and Asia) want them sexually.
• Women: Have developed an eating disorder (keep your curves foreign ladies)  
• Even though they're in their own apartment and NO ONE is around, they still religiously take off their shoes before entering. Even if just for a minute or two to grab their keys.
• They mutter using Japanese fillers and exclamations..."Yatta! Yokatta! Yosh...! Eh-toe-neh! 
• Wear a yukata and old-school Japanese shoes out in public for no apparent reason.
• Use Japanese hand gestures incessantly when they return to their home countries.
• Can and do bow properly at any opportunity, and they have researched, studied and practiced this skill.

That's just a taste of the basic things. I'll be getting back to this list throughout the life of this blog, so stay tuned - if you are reading this and have an idea of something to add, please leave a comment at the bottom of the page.

Remember, not all foreign residents of Japan teach English. So, without any further adieu, stay tuned to meet the people that make up your fellow foreigners.......

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

The Cast and Crew (People in Japan)

The People in Japan – Foreign and Domestic

"The Cast and Crew"

*For more posts similar to this one, see The People in Japan

As an English teacher in Japan, you run across a massive variety of personalities on a daily basis. I like to compare Japan to a movie set. When you roam around the Japanese streets, you will see plenty of recurring characters, lead and supporting actors, stars, character actors, cliche and stereotypical thespians, and of course a bunch of extras (foreigners). 

Dave Spector - a "star"

The extras are of course, foreigners who live in Japan! Only a few extremely select "extras" ever actually make it above this role. A foreigner actually becoming a "superstar" (e.g. Dave Spector)........ is an oddity. Foreign stars necessarily speak fluent Japanese (although not always....see Bob Sapp in action) - and these people are deeply ingrained in Japanese society.

The fellow foreigners that you meet , whom you would most likely not associate with in your home country, come from just about everywhere around the globe (one of the many things that I always enjoyed about living in Japan). This is not necessarily true of other ex-pats that live and work in the land of the rising sun. True ex-pats tend to hang around in an insulated and sheltered bubble, and they rarely mingle with "the extras."

Of course, the main cast is nearly 99% Japanese. The other one percent of the credited actors come from mostly Korea and China. The crew members that you have the most interaction with on a daily basis are (as you might expect) mostly co-workers (teachers) and students. After that...........there's the entire country of cast members to get to know in your free time, which (depending on your schedule) can end up being disappointingly few. 

Cultural Differences

More about the main cast of characters: Aside from a surprisingly massive volume of major cultural differences, the people that you meet in Japan are interested in relatively the same things as anyone anywhere else in the world. Today’s connected world allows people to share interests internationally and people generally share similar interests around the globe. However, there are some very unique individuals that English teachers have to deal with in Japan. 

I'll slowly introduce the full cast and crew throughout this blog, so stay tuned.

Just to give you an idea though, from the eyes of an English teacher in Japan there are only three general groups of people that make up the cast and crew (I had to generalize and categorize, but...in Japan.....well....it's pretty easy to do):

• FELLOW FOREIGNERS ("the extras")
• JAPANESE ENGLISH STUDENTS
• JAPANESE NON-ENGLISH STUDENTS (if there is such a thing)

And that is IT.....please follow this blog so you can familiarize yourself with the entire cast and crew. That's all for now.... much, much , much more to follow.

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

ALT: What is an ALT in Japan?

The World Famous ALT (in Japan)

    "I don't know what it does exactly.........

                              ............but it sure seems to enjoy the internet." 

most Japanese school teachers

*For more posts similar to this one, see Teaching Jobs in Japan

ALT = Assistant Language Teacher. 

Aliases: NET (Native English Teacher)
            ATE (Assistant Teacher of English)
            LSOB (Lazy SOB)
         
So, just what does an ALT do exactly? What are the responsibilities of an ALT? What should an ALT strive to be?


These questions are answered throughout this entire blog, but in this little installment, I focus on what the ALT is supposed to be..............

How would you describe the duties and responsibilities of an ALT?

Here is my official response to the media. I'll offer a more realistic response at a later date:

The responsibilities and duties of an ALT, as with many jobs, are not easily defined. However, I feel that it can be boiled down to one statement:  the sole responsibility of an ALT is to assist in the teaching of English at a host institution. Now, this definition is obviously too simplistic, and every school and BOE (Board of Education/School District) has different expectations. Also, within each school every grade is different as well as each homeroom. What is enjoyable and interesting for one group of students is a terrible bore to another. So, assisting with the teaching of English is something that is not easily defined and needs to change according to each specific group`s needs.

There are some things that the ALT must do. First, during the initial weeks, the ALT must make every attempt to understand the entire scope of his new position. The scope includes getting to know the students, teachers, administration and school board. Of course, the most important aspect is getting to know the students. The ALT should get involved with the club activities and try to talk to them around the school-grounds. The ALT should be asking himself some questions. Are the students quiet or genki? Shy or friendly? Perhaps they like to participate in games, competitions and activities. Maybe, they don`t like to participate at all and an activity is more like pulling a tooth. How is their English level? These questions will help the ALT in the classroom down the road.

As far as the school board, administration and teachers are concerned, the ALT must build solid lines of communication with them. These are the people that the ALT works for and with, and the ALT must understand what the administration and teachers expect and desire.

The ALT is an interesting position. It offers a fairly large range of freedom from the curriculum and lends itself well to creativity. The ALT must be ready and willing to adapt and change any lesson at any time to fit the needs of each specific group of students. For example, what worked well last hour might not work this time because the students are hungry. If an ALT is creative, cooperative and willing to adapt, then that ALT should be able to handle any school day with ease.

Allow me to clear my throat of some wicked buildup of bul.....er um..... anyway.

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

Mr. Baseball - Basic Gaijin Expectations

Mr. Baseball - Basic Gaijin Expectations

For more posts similar to this one, see General Working Conditions, Life in Japan

Technically, English teachers are actually working directly for a Japanese company or Japanese school board. But the expectations of the average gaijin-san are much less demanding than those of Japanese salaried employees. The Japanese are generally aware of how different their society is from the West, so most won’t give foreigners much grief for not adhering to the Japanese working standards such as staying late for no apparent reason and looking frantically busy at all times. 

Large English conversation chains tend to be a bit more strict when it comes to dress codes, punctuality and Japanese customary manners than other employers of English teachers. However, despite working directly for Japanese organizations, foreign personnel are held to a far lower standard of behavior and performance than their Japanese counterparts.

To understand the way Japanese people view foreign workers in their midst, please refer to the movie Mr. Baseball. There’s a scene where one of the Japanese players explains just what Mr. Baseball’s role on the team is – a helper. Nothing more, nothing less. He’s just there to help out for a short time to fill a hole that’s missing on the team. 

The same attitude applies to English teachers in Japan. Ultimately, you are not truly a part of the team. The team, as it applies to English teachers in Japan, is a metaphor for society at large. English teachers in Japan are simply in Japan for awhile to help out filling in the enormous English teaching chasm that exists. Nothing more is expected. 

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

The Physical School - The Genkan

Heading Inside - Shoes and more Shoes

"Man, these slippers are cutting off my circulation..." sasquatch gaijin

For more posts similar to this one, see Being in a Japanese School - Physically

If you forget to bring a pair of shoes or sandals to change into when you get to school, don't worry, there are some super small slippers that you can use. They reach about to the beginning of the heel on my size 10 feet. Brutally uncomfortable. Anyway, let's head inside.

The Front Gate and The Wall

"All in All You're Just Another Brick in the Wall...."
Notice the Giant Clock

Almost every school has a gate that can be closed. This is definitely not uncommon in the West, but in Japan, the gates are usually not just gates to keep people from parking or driving into restricted areas, it’s part of a damn fortress. The gate is attached to a 6-8+ foot high brick, stone or concrete wall (the first picture in this post). No matter what the size of the campus is, the wall surrounds it entirely. One of my schools was at least 5 acres and completely surrounded with an approximately 8 foot high wall. It was pretty impressive. Obviously, this part of the school is influenced from Japan’s past ‘Castle Culture.’ 

"The Gate"

Once you get past the front gate, where the morning aisatsu usually takes place,  you will somehow or another be funneled towards……

          

The Foyer (Genkan)

Genkan Straight Ahead

This is where you perform THE most basic of all Japanese rituals, changing your shoes. There’s usually one genkan for the teachers, and a separate one for the students. There is nothing special about the genkan besides the massive number of shoes and shoe boxes (lockers). It's difficult to really imagine the sheer volume of shoes that can be found all over the school. They are everywhere!

            

The Shoes Lockers (Boxes)

And since we’re on the subject of shoes, let me take this opportunity to explain a bit about the ‘shoes culture’ at a Japanese school.  

The School Shoes Culture

First of all, one of the questions that I get from Japanese teachers all the time is ‘What do you call these in English?’ When it comes to these shoe boxes or whatever you want to call them however, I always kindly remind the Japanese that we don’t have these things in America, so we don’t have a word for it. 

What do you call this monstrosity?

Most students have at least four pairs of shoes stored somewhere at the school at any one time. Some have five: going to and from school shoes, inside the school shoes, outdoor PE shoes, gymnasium shoes, and specialized sport shoes (e.g. soccer boots, baseball spikes, etc.). Yep, teachers also have an assortment of shoes gathered at the school. You can walk around the school and find an obnoxious number of shoes gathered together in random places. Like this................notice how they are all facing the same way?

Random Shoe Meeting

There is a very traditional way to place your shoes in Japan. Typically, you take them off and place them pointing away from the entrance, pointing out so to speak. It's the custom and considered proper and polite. Obviously, random shoe riots like above don't give a shirt about customs.

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

The Physical School - Basics

The Physical School 

(Buildings, Rooms and Chairs)

"Damn thing looks like a prison." foreigner looking at a Japanese school 

For more posts similar to this one, see Being in a Japanese School - Physically

Before we head inside, let’s take a quick look at the physical appearance of the school. Chances are that it can be described by...........

                                   “The Ugly, Uglier and the Hey! This place ain’t so bad.”

Typical Front of a School Building - Notice the Giant Clock

Most public schools are old solid slabs of concrete that are pretty freakin’ ugly both inside and out. Private schools are, of course, completely different beasts altogether. The privates are usually exceptionally clean and well maintained. They are also fantastically boring, antiseptic and strict. 

The first public school I ever walked into reminded me of a prison -  Yamada Higashi JHS. There was no paint; there were cracked and broken windows everywhere; the walls had mold and algae stains all over. And this is the norm rather than the exception when it comes to most public schools in urban areas of Japan. However, not all schools date back to the 1940's and 50's. Some are actually kind of new, or new-ish and perhaps even somewhat recently refurbished. But let’s not get to crazy here, even though a school might be somewhat new, it’s still going to be…..well, an eyesore - usually.

Private High School

No matter what it looks like, it’s the personality that counts, right? This is definitely true of a Japanese school. Some of the best and kindest students in the world reside within these nasty walls (and many not so good and kind students as well, but that’s for later when I get to my posts on Japanese Students).

Notice the Giant Clock

So, if you’re finished taking in the breathtaking beauty of the exterior of the institution, let’s head inside…….

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

Basic Working Conditions in Japan

Basic Working Conditions in Japan

(applicable to foreigners)

*For more posts similar to this one, see General Working Conditions

One of my desks...beautiful

*Note: This post is just a very basic obligatory overview of working conditions for English teachers. I'll get down and dirty in future posts about things related to what it's like to actually teach lessons.

Before I take you inside a school, you need to be familiar with at least a baseline of working conditions in Japan as they relate to foreigners - especially teachers.

First of all, you need to realize that once you sign a contract, which are almost never for more than one year at a time, your chances of getting fired are almost zero. To get fired, you have to do something so egregious that it would would make Charlie Sheen look sane. Keeping in mind that there are two main places to teach English full-time in Japan, conversation schools and public/private primary and secondary schools, here's a brief list of...................................

The Top Ways to Get Fired:
(actually this should read, The ONLY Real Ways to get Fired)

• Blatant sexual harassment - towards a student. You can probably get away with sexually harassing one of the teachers for awhile and get warned about it a few times before anything happened.
• Showing up absolutely steamed and stumbling drunk. I'm talking can't stand up getting ready to puke drunk. Anything short of this state will result in the Japanese just ignoring the situation.
• Punching someone in the face.
• Walking around naked.
• Cracking a beer or doing a shot in the classroom - and even then, I think you could claim Gaijin Rage.
• Refusing to show up to work for a couple of weeks - and I do mean that quite literally.
• Being thrown in jail for any reason (which is usually followed by deportation)

Yes, all of the above have all been done.

And remember, if you get fired in Japan, you are entitled to one month 'severance pay' and you are eligible for unemployment benefits. So if you want to get fired, simply perform one of the above bullets, and you're on your way to a month's paid vacation.

Moving on........................

As you may have heard, the basic company structure of Japanese companies is hierarchical and group based. Obviously, successful business organizations all over the world adhere to some sort of organizational chart, and successful Japanese businesses organize themselves essentially the same as any other business in the world, except for a few peculiarities. Most of the differences are strictly culturally based and in general do not apply to foreigners. The Japanese do not expect foreigners to adhere to most of the employee expectations that they have for themselves - this is because they know how enigmatic and convoluted the Japanese workplace environment is to outsiders.

Generally speaking, the structure of the business or organization that foreign English teachers work in will minimally impact their day to day life and general working conditions. Learning about the inner workings of Japanese business, however, is one more layer of the proverbial onion to peel, and understanding it will help one become exponentially more intimate with Japanese culture. 

Alas, learning about how the Japanese workplace environment is organized and how it operates is not my focus in this blog..... Just know that if you show up, do your job (not even well) and don't cause too many waves, the Japanese will pretty much leave you alone and your life at work will be pretty much smooth sailing.

Now,  let's go to school.....

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

The First Meal

Try the 'Basashi'

なんでやねん

"I don't even like Japanese food!"  too many dumb gaijin

*For more posts similar to this one, see The Series of Firsts

So many firsts - you are probably going to want a nice meal for yourself during the first night you spend in your new home. You definitely won't want to cook, and you will probably want something to eat different than sushi. What to do?!?! I dunno!?! The amount of foreigners who live in Japan who despise Japanese food is truly baffling.... "I hate fish" "I hate rice" "I hate...."

"Then what the frack did you move here for?"

Anyway......... let's go eat!!

The First Meal

Alright!!! Where to go? What to eat? It’s your first few moments in Japan. 

Ramen, Udon, Sushi, Yaki-whatever, Whatever-yaki, Donburi, Tenpura, Kushi-katsu......Whale sashimi

If you live in a large city, your choices are endless.........

Yeah it's Korean, but still funny.

You’re going to want to try anything and everything. If you have a veteran roommate handy when you’re ready for your first meal, then you’re in luck! The veteran should be able to point you somewhere that will be easy for you. If you’re by yourself or with a fellow FOB, then you can have a good time wandering around looking for some grub.

The first eating experience for a lot of FOBs ends-up being in a fast food restaurant of some kind. Aside from McDonald’s and convenience stores, nothing will look familiar. Even the convenience stores are bizarrely different. When you’re walking around looking for a place to eat, you’ll notice how small all the shops look. 

You will probably walk right by most restaurants because you'll think it's something other than a place to eat at. Also, you may feel completely intimidated by these small shops because you’ll be afraid of what the food is, how to order, what is good, what’s not, etc. Regardless of where you end up, you will see and smell massively different things on the first meal quest.

Or just have a beer meal....

My first meal was curry udon, and I had a veteran roommate with me to take me to the place and order. So I had no problem. You'll never forget the first authentic Japanese meal that you have, so live it up! Order up some sake (a-tsu-kan - for the warm stuff) or some Asahi/Kirin drafts (na-ma beer) and get loaded. Oh yeah, one last thing about the small Japanese shops...... if you don't smoke, now is a good a time as any to start - if you can't stand second hand smoke, leave Japan immediately.

Well, there is your first day in a nutshell -- if you are with a group of FOBs, than try to find a karaoke box together. It's tradition.

So where to next....... Let's go to school for awhile.....

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

First Day - The Apartment

The First Time in Your Apartment

For more posts similar to this one, see The Series of Firsts

The first time entering a Japanese style apartment will be a bizarre experience for most people. Yes, they are apartments that have the same general amenities as Western style apartments, but they’re extremely different in many ways. Entering one for the first time will be a different experience for everyone.

It will depend on what apartments are like where you are from and, of course, the style and quality of the apartment in Japan you are moving into. Will you have roommates? If you work for a large English conversation school, and are moving into a company supplied apartment in a large city, then chances are yes. If you are going to a small town in the mountains, then you will have a place to yourself.

The ALT companies usually set you up in your own place. Roommates will have a drastic effect on the way you adapt to your new surroundings. I personally think that adults over 25 years old shouldn't have roommates under any circumstance, but that's just me. More on these creatures in a later post – “the supplied roommates.”

Regardless of the roommate situation, rest assured that you will feel one thing as soon as you open the door – slightly claustrophobic. You will feel larger than your normal self for a few moments. Everything will feel small and narrow. The apartment may have a strange scent (usually from the tatami floors - or your filthy new roommates). If it’s your own apartment and you’re in an urban area, you will not be able to describe how small it is to people back home. Pictures and videos will ultimately actually make it look larger, but it will be unimaginably small, and you will need to actually be standing in it to believe it.

There will be no beds, sparse or no furniture at all and wicked tiny closets. You won’t care about the size when you first move in; it will be just another new, strange and intriguing discovery for you to savor during your first few days and weeks in Japan. However, if you spend a lot of time inside your new roach motel, the walls will inevitably tart to creep in on you. But, you’re in Japan!! Get outside and experience the damn place!!!

There’s really not too much to tell about the Japanese apartments. The major differences are the following:

·         No ovens – learn to use a toaster oven.

The Fish Grill

·         Or, learn to use the fish broiler below the range.

·         No beds (unless you are lucky) – learn to sleep on a thin Japanese futon, not the fat soft Western style futon couch thing.

A Japanese Futon

·         A small deck (‘veranda’) that is socially unacceptable to use for anything besides drying laundry.

·         No carpeting – ever! If you do have some ‘carpeting’ in your apt. then it will be super thin and look something you might find in a school or a store.

·         No water heater – 99% of Japanese apartments have on-demand water heating systems. You will love this!!

·         Wicked awesome water pressure!

·         A small refrigerator – better learn to go shopping a bit more often then you are used to.

·         Doors open out (so you don’t bump the shoes)

·         Separate room for the toilet bowl.

Have you eaten yet? You’re probably a bit hungry! So after getting relatively settled in your new abode, if you haven’t down so already, you’re probably ready for your first meal…….. Good Luck!

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

First Day: "The Company"

The First "Company" Encounter

For more posts similar to this one, see The Series of Firsts

Somehow or another, you need to get your keys and actually in your apartment sometime soon after your flight arrives. That means that merely hours after you arrive you will get to have your first encounter with the company staff. Hey! This could be your first encounter with your supervisor! Lucky you!

Total Moron FOB

This could also be the first time to rub elbows with some fellow FOBs. Stick with this blog. I'll be detailing the fellow foreigners later.

If you have a keen eye, you might notice some ‘OMFG Who Hired You?’ people and perhaps a few of the ‘dazed and confused.’ (More about them later) But, you are probably a bit too overwhelmed with everything going on around you to really care about anything other than the immediate dose of Japan that you are main-lining. You are just going to be happy to be there and excited about getting settled in.

Flu Season

After finally making it to wherever it was you picked up the key…crud!! Do you still have your luggage? Uh oh! Didn’t someone from your company’s staff tell you about the luggage delivery services at the airport? If they did and you were by yourself, the experience of filling out the forms at the desk without assistance may have made you say, “Screw it, I’ll just take them with me." However………………

If you’re in a big city, the decision to travel around with your luggage in tow may have led to another first: The first time you look like a complete and total moron in Japan. An unsuspecting FOB with WAY too much luggage and no idea how IMPOSSIBLE it is to navigate crowded Japanese train lines (with any kind of suitcase other than a small carry on) is a rare but always an appreciated sighting for the veteran gaijin-san living in the land of natto.

Back to the first encounter with the company staff. If you had to go to the head office, there's really not going to be much to see there except for a bunch of over-friendly faces in suits. You’ll get to learn their true natures later, At first the over-friendliness will seem like a nice gesture; the office staff will go WAY out of their normal routine to make you feel comfortable and welcome during your first moments in Japan (don’t expect much after this). You’ll get your keys and perhaps even an actual living human to give you a ride or hold your hand to your apartment. You’ll perhaps receive some paperwork, pamphlets and other assorted packets of spectacularly useless information. Then you’ll be off to your first apartment.

You will not under any circumstances be aware of how freaking busy the staff is during your first encounter. You will still be on vacation time and you will want to chat, ask some questions and move slowly. However, the staff wants you out of their hair ASAP! You will not be aware of this….. until much later.

Anyway, on to your first apartment.............

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

First Day: "The Landing"

The Landing - The First Steps Off the Plane

"It's like being on drugs, but I'm not...." gren

For more posts similar to this one, see The Series of Firsts

You made it! You’re getting ready for landing….finally. For me, the first flight to Japan was the longest time I spent sitting in one place in my life. Adrenaline is probably kicking in and you are primed and ready to get off the plane and get some sushi and start the experience.

Once off the plane, the first thing you will notice is that you can’t read a freaking thing. More than likely you won’t have any idea as to where you are going, so you will just follow everyone else and hope you get to the right place. You do eventually get to immigration and when you finally get your bags and walk up to the passport check booth.

Oh, NO!!

Did you try to speak English to the immigration officer?

If you uttered a phrase in English, you will be pleasantly surprised that nine times out of ten the officer will not have time for your silly English. So, if this is your first experience with this kind of situation, I hope you don’t get super anxious, like some people do, and fumble around like a complete lunatic. This is just the beginning. If you’re already having panic attack at the visa checkpoint, it’s going to be a long first few months for you.

If you’re lucky, you will have someone waiting for you from the organization you will be working for. Most of the mega-English factory companies will ask a group of FOBs (newbies, newbs) to schedule their flights to arrive on the same day at around the same time to make this step easier for them and you. If this is the case, a representative will be waiting right outside the exit from immigration.

However, most companies do not have the resources (manpower) to provide this kind of service.

So, when you finally get through immigration and put your first foot down on Japanese soil, there is a chance that you will be entirely on your own in a remarkably non-English speaking environment. However, the airport is the best place to be. International airports always have plenty of English speakers at assistance desks and ticket counters - somewhere. But you might not realize that yet - Just remain calm and find someone to point you in the right direction.

Hopefully, someone from the organization you will be working for gave you at least some kind of detailed directions and a map to get you to your destination. You’re destination will usually be a company office or group rendezvous point. I hope you have enough yen in your pocket, because if you need to use a cab from the airport, it can get pretty expensive quickly.

Well, off you go……….Good luck!

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

First Day - "Takin' Off"

The First Flight to Japan


"I'm lucky, I can sleep from takeoff until we land; so I'm fresh, rested and ready to work on arrival."
Eva Herzigova
"Whatever, Eva......"
gren


For more posts similar to this one, see The Series of Firsts

I put this post up to try to describe the first entire day someone spends getting to Japan. The next few posts describe the journey to actually living there, not visiting. The first day can be pretty intense at times if someone has no previous travel experience, and since this is a pretty major trip, more like a move, I tried to explain it as best I could so the reader may have a sense of the experience.

Ready? You may have a sense of excitement about the new chapter of your life that’s about to begin. You may experience an anxiousness or nervousness that you’ve never experienced before. Perhaps you haven’t been sleeping well. You’ve probably packed entirely too much and written out a massive list of things to do before take off. Whatever the case, you will most likely feel unprepared as you head towards the ticket gate for what, until now, will likely be one of the biggest changes of your life.

Getting through the check-in line and ticket gates will feel just like any other flight that you’ve taken until you finally board the plane and get settled in you seat. When you finally get a chance to take a breath and look around….. Yep! The flight is roughly 95% Asians. Aside from knowing that you're in the right place, if this is your first flight of this nature, this may be your first experience of being in a massive minority.

Since there will be people from all over Asia not just Japan, people will be speaking in what will seem like 1000 different languages at break neck speed. If you are by yourself, the person sitting next to you will more than likely not speak English. Get ready for what could be a long quiet flight. Or not……….

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!