Three Finger Jack

Three Fingers
The Yak Guy

"I own this place"  three finger Jack

*For more posts similar to this one, see The People in Japan

This is simply a post about how to spot someone involved with the Yakuza:

• He routinely roams the streets in a Rolls Royce at negative speed through the back streets of Shinsaibashi.
• He stores and lines up his Ferraris on the first floor of an unsecured parking garage so that anyone can walk by them at anytime of the day.
• Drives a car with all fours or eights on the license plate -- or just the number one.
• He says that he works in construction, yet works out of his home and doesn't own a drawing table or anything even related to construction.
• Same guy as above, yet is always in the bar until the sun comes up.....all week.
• He parks his Buggati in front of run down apartment building in a crappy part of some Japanese city.
• He owns an expensive and exclusive nightclub in a not so nice part of the city.
• He has a missing finger or two....or three................or four.
• Has conspicuous tattoos, especially on the hands, forearms and/or neck.
• He is well dressed (mafia style) and throwing punches at someone in the middle of the street.

Note on tattoos: Tattoos and Yakuza are so closely associated in the Japanese collective consciousness that you still cannot patron most health clubs (gyms), sentou (銭湯 - public baths) and pools if you have a visible (at any time, e.g. while changing in the locker room) tattoo.

Yep, I've met many Yaks during my time living in Japan. Of course, I lived in East Shinsaibashi and Nishinari (the most notoriously nasty Japanese neighborhood) for a total of close to 5 years, so I have seen these guys lurking around.... a lot! Yes, they do exist and in a far greater number, and with far more local influence than any Japanese person would ever want to admit.

Tsutenkaku

Wide open narcotic/opium trade on the streets near Tsutenkaku.
Gambling houses, prostitution, pay-offs, bribes.....
All this stuff is protected by the local Yaks.

Newsflash: The Yakuza were having a rough time recruiting due to the economy!!??! Fake Fingers??!!??

The rule of thumb here is to try to stay away from any close dealings with Japanese dudes that have any number of  fingers cut off of their hands.....or maybe you like that sort of thing.....

The Yak guy is without question the most dangerous native species found in the Japanese outback. Any sighting or close contact should be handled with extreme prudence.

By the way, Three Finger Jack is an actual nickname given (by my old roomie and me) to an actual Yak Guy in Osaka.

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? Got any Yak stories that aren't too long? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!

Fellow Foreigners - The Hostesses

The Russian Hostess

The Celebrities

"Whoa! Who was that?"  a tourist or FOB

*For more posts similar to this one, see The People in Japan

I've been neglecting the Fellow Foreigners for quite some time, so without further adieu, let me introduce a very special group.........the Russian Hostesses.

Here's the deal. Gorgeous Russian women come to Japan to work as hostesses. They get paid for various services at Japanese hostess clubs. They can get paid particularly well for performing just their actual job duties .......................however...

They are tall, voluptuous and pack a serious attitude.

RH: "Ooh...my mah-thah is sick back in Russia....she's poor.... she needs money....oohhh.... I'm so sad...."

And the loaded Japanese 'salaryman customers' fork over tons of cash to them. It's a simple formula as old as time itself. The only difference about how this age-old social mechanism manifests itself in Japan is that its SO F*&KING OBVIOUS!!!! Well, maybe that's the point.

The easiest way to spot a Russian Hostess (aside from going to a hostess club) is to look for a tall and inappropriately glamorously dressed woman walking directly next to a 5 foot tall 50+ year old Japanese guy in a suit -- this is a 99.9% positive sighting. The only way to get the confirmation level to 100% is to try to say hi to her directly after the sighting. If you receive a frighteningly evil look of death, then she's a Russian hostess. When in the wild, there is no other fellow foreigner more terrifying than the Russian hostess......

Do you have a question about Japan or a topic that you are interested in that you haven't found on this blog? If so, please tell me about it in a comment. I will get a post up about it as soon as possible. Thanks for reading!!